Heh, funny to see me alive huh. Unfortunately I havn't been drawing much...lack of inspiration I suppose. I have a few sketches here and there...but due to the lack of space on the comp, i had to delete the scanner program. So untill that gets all cleared up...you wont be seeing much from me. Not like i already had a lot in it.

Its been a hot summer....havn't done too much. Worked...stayed at home. The usual.

I've found it amusing...only in tragic moments do you find out who your friends really are. Sadly...I seem to have so very little.

I most likely bring it upon myself...as quote from some anime which i heard "We found out your problem...It's your entire personality" Oh how well it seems to suit me. I don't know what's wrong...or what key makes people angry with me. I should know...but somehow i seem to remain oblivious.

I would just like a friend for whom i can talk to...share my soul...in which won't use all the information against me. I have found a few...Emily would shoot me if she saw this..she has been such a good friend, although she lives so far away so i can't see her. Joel..oddly enough he's never done anything to me...or at least that I know of. We arn't superglue close...but i've known him since grade 4...and even on my saddest days, where all i wanted to do was move away so that i wouldn't be with anyone...he said i would have to keep in touch with him no matter what. It just makes my day a little brighter. He's a Gemini, and from what people have told us..i think i'm his twin. We're alot alike...and often finish each other's sentences. I don't think of him -that- way...and I'm glad i dont...or else i would lose him as a friend.

I believe...that I will find a school in which i can transpher to Japan for schooling...then, I will be alone. In which i cannot hurt anyone, and no one can hurt me. Sure it will be lonely, but its worth it.

I believe for the rest of the summer...I will keep to myself, it seems to be the less painful way for everyone, including myself. It seems I should also revert back to keeping everything of importance to myself. Its hard to keep it inside...but it will be best that way.

Pain...its also a funny thing. At the moments you wish to die, take your life...then people begin to care. I could be wrong...that they've cared all along...but i sure don't see it then. People I never talk to, will begin to talk to me the moment im depressed, saying if i end my life..i will forever hurt the ones around me. Yet...the moment I say I wont..they go back to ignoring me. So...i guess that as long as they're happy knowing at least im alive...the world will be good, depsite the pain i would live through every day. Go figure. I suppose my happiness is obselete compared to everyone else's. Selfish i know...but perhaps i will find hapiness when I am gone...not dead...just alone. Perhaps that will make everyone happy.

Sorry for the depressing rant...i needed something to talk to...so why not a bunch of random long distance friends and complete strangers. You can only talk to plushies for so long untill they think your crazy too.